All in all, looking back at high school, it did very little to prepare me for the rigors of college, I think. I had an advantage by taking advanced placement courses, which are supposed to be set up as college courses are and serve as better preparation for higher learning than normal high school courses, but the only valuable trait I picked up by taking them outside of gaining general knowledge was learning how to take notes and how to take them well. But, for as much as high school didn’t really prepare me for anything outside of that, it did pay for my college education. All the money I have to my name right now is scholarship money. It pays for classes, textbooks, groceries, doctor visits, school supplies, occasionally gas, birth control, and whatever else I might need while I’m still flush with funds.
Unfortunately for me, this free ride is about to end.
If all goes as planned, I will graduate with a bachelor’s degree next May. Just one year from now. I’m not sure what happens after I get to that point, to tell you the truth. I apply for vet school this summer and will find out by next March if that’s where I’m headed or if I need to pick a new career path until I can apply again next year, and my bank account will likely only stay alive in either case due to student loans, which I will need to survive any extra form of schooling. It’s very difficult to get scholarships for any kind of medical school, and I’m preparing to be $200,000 in debt within the next 5 years.
A scary thought.
One would assume, as a result, that I’ve gone out of my way to preserve the excess scholarship funds I’ve received over the last 3 years in order to retain some kind of financial buffer for a future which looks very bumpy right now. And I have. I’ve spent the money largely on school-related necessities. I very rarely go out shopping on my own, and when I do, I tend to buy very few luxuries. I know why I’ve received the money and I know the most prudent ways to spend it, and I think the state of Florida would appreciate how I’ve handled it so far.
Until now.
I’ve been in the market for new sex toys for a year or so now, but I’ve only started actively looking into it since this past April. The realization that I will no longer have free money to play with struck me very heavily, and I’ve decided to use it while I have it. I’ve not had a very good time with it, however. I keep running into websites that have what I want… but that no longer work or have been abandoned, and it’s taken me this long to find a single site that will finally deliver my toys to me.
Originally, I just wanted a plain, smooth-shaft glass dildo. My original glass dildo has a raised, blue spiral going up its length, and while it feels great for 2 or 3 rounds of play, it gets a little intense afterward, so I wanted something smoother that I could use once I reach the sore-but-not-done-getting-off point. I had my boyfriend go toy hunting with me on one of these sore nights, and I found a smooth-shaft glass dildo that I liked on a site that sold nothing but glass dildos. He went looking around at some of the others they had to offer, and he came back with a double-ended cherry glass dildo that also had a smooth shaft and asked me what I thought about it. I told him I thought yes please! and we reasoned that getting two new glass dildos couldn’t hurt. They’d surely get enough use to justify the expense, so I ordered them both… but from different websites. The original site only had the plain glass dildo I picked out in a size that I thought was too small, so I found a similar one on a different site with the dimensions I wanted and ordered the cherry glass dildo from the original website.
Long story short, I wound up only receiving the plain glass dildo. The single one that I had wanted all on its lonesome… but I also still wanted the cherry toy after having gotten a taste for it. That order had been canceled, so I was on the lookout for another site that sold it. It’s a Phallix toy, so it’s easy enough to locate on other sites that also stock Phallix products. I managed to find it again on another site… and then wound up wanting another glass dildo that they also had in stock. A cobalt blue one with a juicer-style head. I’d decided not to get it from the original site, but kept going back to look at it and showed it to my boyfriend as a “maybe next time” idea, and he asked me why I didn’t finally get it when I wanted it so badly.
I should have known then how much trouble I’d be in now.
With his encouragement, I ordered both of them, glad that I wouldn’t have to feel like I was missing something when just the cherry one arrived, and it fell through. The website was dead. All the links and security measures seemed to be working, but I was fooled.
And I was sad.
I took some time away from this sex toy searching just to get rid of the frustration of having lost two orders to shitty sites, and I finally returned to it last night. I found the cherry and cobalt glass dildos I wanted and then decided to take a peek around the hopefully much more reliable site just to see what they offered. Lo and behold, I found 5 books I wanted, and they added about $70 to my order. I thought I could get them cheaper from Amazon, so I looked for them there… and wound up picking 8 books I like (including the original 5) for $68. I couldn’t turn that deal down, and especially not when I’ve been waiting for a reason to buy all of these books for several weeks now.
I was almost settled on this situation when, out of curiosity, I wondered what kind of glass dildo I could get for a similar amount of money that the books were going to cost me, should I have gone that route instead of the literary one. I stumbled on yet another juicer-style glass dildo infused with gold particles, and it was actually $20 more than my books, so it technically didn’t even meet my books-price criterion…
But I was already hooked.
I couldn’t order anything until I checked it out with my courteous friend first to make sure she wouldn’t mind the onslaught of erotica and sex toys, so I slept on it last night and it gave me time to make sure that this haul is really what I wanted to spend over $300 of scholarship money on, knowing that I likely won’t have a chance to do it again very soon.
Needless to say, to my scholarship money, I bid adieu. I have bought all of these playthings. It’s Christmas in May for me, and I am very anxious to get acquainted with my new purchases, all of which will find a warm and welcoming home here. And, as I am also a generous friend, I’ve offered to let my own courteous friend borrow my books in return for her troubles and graciousness. This could lead down some interesting paths, considering the topics of these books. You may actually know or own some of them. Fanny Hill, Story of O (and its sequel, Return to the Château), the Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rice, Delta of Venus, and a little book called Dark Rider written by a less well known author than those of the previous books. I’ve already informed my boyfriend that we are going to require an expansive library some day if I keep on this track, and he’s quite agreeable to the idea.
As for the new sex toys, my on-going search for them has sparked a desire for them in my mailbox friend, and it’s entirely possible that I’ll go shopping with her and help her pick out some of her own.
This could be fun, indeed.
<3 Goldy <3
Don’t bad bad girls need to be punished?
Bad girl indeed.
Pain is the cleanser.
*wiseguy*
But on a more serious note, I hope you don’t get yourself into serious financial trouble. It might even make sense to wait awhile after you get your BS and look for a well paying job based on just having that before you try to take on too much more debt in order to go through medical school.
Sometimes you just HAVE to treat yourself!
*jealous*
I need new toys…… *pout*
MrIQ: Yes, I’m afraid they do. But not yet LOL.
Mr. F: Ouchies lol. As for the BS, I can’t get a decent job with it in the field I’m interested in, and would likely wind up waitressing if I needed to get a job to pass the time. You need a lot more than a bachelor’s degree these days to be worth much, unfortunately. However, I’m not currently in any debt. I’ll be paying $50,000/year (as a LOW estimate) to attend vet school. That’s when the debt will accrue. And I am not looking forward to it…
Mina: Ain’t that the truth. I’ve just bought two more glass dildos beyond the ones shown here, as well. I’m a lost cause LOL.
Mark: Be mindful I don’t send one to Aly.
Aly: Yes. Yes you do. We should go shopping… but then one of us would need a plane ticket lol.
I’m sure you could do better than waitressing if you have a degree, no matter what the degree is in. You’re not going to be getting a job that can pay for vet school right away but I’m sure you could manage a job that starts out at at least $25k/year and you might be even better off if you can get an paid internship while you’re in vet school so that you could be both paying off the debt and also getting the needed experience and references to get a well paying job after graduating.
I’m in the same boat as you, Goldy. I have my bachelor’s degree, but that’s really worth nothing these days here. Actually it’s starting to feel like you don’t do anything with a master’s degree either. It’s almost like you’d need to have at least two degrees from two different fields before you’re taken seriously in the jobmarket.
Mr. F: It would be VERY difficult for me to get a job worth any money with my degree. It’s a pre-med school degree, basically, and it’s what you might call a starter degree. While I’ve learned a lot, it’s not enough to get me a decent paying job, and I would certainly not get a job in the field I’m aiming for, so I pinpointed waitressing because it would be quicker money than working my way up at a business would be and I wouldn’t feel bad about leaving a “career” for my real job once I got into vet school lol. The trouble with trying to save up for vet school at all is that there’s no way I can make enough money to even BEGIN paying it off right away, so whatever money I’d make waiting to get in would take very little off of the amount of student loans I’ll need, so it would be pointless to put off going just to make some money first. As for internships, I have to do them while I’m in school eventually, and I’m not sure when I’d be able to start that… but they do have some on-campus jobs they offer to vet students usually. The trouble is that I’ll be taking 20+ credit hours a semester and they recommend you don’t hold a job while in school for that reason. Thinking about this makes me sad to grow up LOL. Le sigh.
MrIQ: That’s exactly what it’s like here. I could become a secretary or a doctor’s assistant here with my degree… and that’s work you don’t need a degree to apply for in the first place, so my degree is basically worthless on its own LOL. I’ll sure as hell be glad to have it, though.
Oooh! Shopping!
Those are all so pretty. You’ll have to let me know if the box they come in gives anything away about what’s inside. My mail sees several people before me. Boo.
At least you have scholarship money! I gave up all my scholarships to go to a community college and save money in the end. And lost looking for a school to transfer to. I feel old.
I went book shopping today. I got ‘The Prince’ ‘Journey to the Centre of the Earth’ ‘The Historian by Kostova, and some cook books. Monies, dear me.
Make the most of being as bad as you want whenever you want, Goldy. Life’s too bloody short and unpredictable to put anything on hold.
~EA
I feel your money worries – the first time I had a loan I would wake up panicked about money, and I didn’t buy anything full price for years. When I began working again, even at minimum wage (which may be a little higher here than where you are) I was surprised how fast I could pay it down, and I learned that one’s credit score improves with on-time payments and a little fluctuation on the balance, which helped me feel better about the whole thing. There are loans for doctors because … they’re doctors.
I think you gotta remember that you are where you are, successful, because of your intelligence, hard work and determination, and that those things are very very real – they count for a lot for you and those around you – and they will carry you over lots of bumps.
[... and, excuse me, but, shit, don't Americans have government job banks and student employment centers to help you find you non-shitty jobs in your field of study?]
Most of all, have a hell of a lot of fucking fun with your toys, you good bad girl you
xo
Oyster: They’re ten times more gorgeous in person. I’m so glad I decided to get all of these lol. The packages they use are completely devoid of markings. The only thing on mine was duct tape to keep them closed and my name/address. Very, very inconspicuous. The shape of the boxes is kind of funny, like they house a mini-baseball bat, but if you didn’t know a sex toy was hiding inside, you wouldn’t think of it LOL. We’re both running out of monies, it sounds like. I went shopping with Vanessa on Wednesday and told her not to let me buy anything as a result. She kept me in line lol. Sorry about the school troubles. I think you’ve got plenty of time to figure it all out, though.
EA: I agree heartily, Monsieur. I need to become a regular visitor to your blog again. Yours is one I miss most when I depart from the internet for any length of time.
Wrenna: Welcome! And what a great entry into my little world lol. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. The world of loans scares the shit out of me, but I know I’d be able to tackle it eventually. It’s just scary looking at it right now knowing I have no real source of income… but that will change. As for the job banks and student employment centers, they do have those… but I can’t get a job in any veterinary medicine type of job without job experience, so I can’t get the experience to get the jobs. It’s a fucked up cycle. Very rarely, there will be openings at clinics where they’re willing to train new vet assistants, but they are few and very far between. I have applied for those only to find that someone else has snatched the job before I even applied, so that’s the kind of ickiness forcing me to look for secondary jobs elsewhere. As for the toys, they have arrived, and I will be having as much fun fucking them as possible with them for a long, long time to come.